When you think about the girl next door, usually it brings pleasant thoughts. She is a lady we have seen around, exchanged greetings and smiles – walked away feeling good. The part about feeling good has a lot to do with the calm atmosphere and the casual meeting. There was no crowd, no expectations of trying to be picked up, and you were not concerned about being rejected. Instead, it was you and a lady exchanging some small talk with no pressure or competition. Over time as you get to know each other the conversation may get a little more personal and you may decide to get together for dinner or drinks. It seems to come natural.
In a club, the atmosphere is completely different. There is competition and much more intensity in the air. The women don’t know who you are and if they seen you around, they can only judge you by your actions – which may be effected by alcohol. When you do walk up to one of these ladies in a club, right away you are inviting her to go out, have a drink, etc., without her really knowing who you are. No wonder this type of atmosphere is ripe with rejection. Granted a lady may get to know you in a club over time, but there always seems to be another guy around the corner trying to take your place. Probably this competition is the reason for the hurried invite for a personal connection. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But I bet, must guys have had more then their share of rejections in a club and really don’t care for the feeling.
Meeting a girl online is similar to the girl next door concept. She may not be next door, but the atmosphere of little pressure, casual conversation and getting to know each other by online exchange (email, online chatting, etc.), make it a more pleasant feeling. In time, this exchange may blossom into more then friendship. If sparks connect, you will find yourself in love with the girl next door though she may be miles even oceans away.
A lady in a bar who doesn’t know who you are, may say no for that reason alone. She may get to know you in time, but more then likely you have asked her out before she got the chance to know who you are. After a guy has been rejected, more then likely he won’t return to the scene of the accident. You may tell yourself you will let the lady get to know you before making any advances, which is not a bad idea, but by the time she gets to know you, three other guys have asked her out. The girl next door concept in a bar could work, but the competition and the odds are stacked against you.
With the girl next door concept on the internet, you get to know each other before asking intimate questions. And when the time comes to invite the lady into a romantic encounter, she knows who you are and rejection is less likely. Granted, there are jerks on the net whose first email may say “baby, I want to make love to you all night,” but that line seems out of place for a first email. Yet that same line may not seem so out of place the first time you meet a lady in a club. See the difference? I doubt if you would say “baby, I want to make love to you all night” the first time you meet your new lady neighbor. Yet in a club, after a few drinks, you will say just that and it is almost expected.
You can see why the girl next door concept works well with online dating. Ladies get to know the guys, rejection is less, and finding love is more likely. I can’t imagine a better way to get to know the girl next door then from the comfort of your home and computer. The girl next door is as close as your fingers on the keyboard – you just got to go out and find her. With so many online dating services, finding the girl next door should be as easy as ringing her door bell.
Steve Eyes is the webmaster and owner of FilipinaEyes Association. His experience comes from finding love on the internet and helping others do the same.
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